As the calendar flips to February, we start to think about red roses, chocolates and love. When I think about love these days, I think about it much differently then I did in my idealized youth and the age of “You complete me” movies. These were the messages that kept me externally seeking to fill a void within myself that only I could ever fill.
This idea of Self-Love goes well beyond self care, which is also extremely important. However, we need to do our self care from a place of being in alignment with our authentic selves, otherwise, it can back fire. Have you ever done something in the name of self care, and spent the entire time feeling miserable because it didn’t resonate with you? For me I can think of times I went to a yoga class because it was at the right time, but wasn’t the right style and bombarding myself with negative self talk about not being able to do a pose the way I wanted. I can also remember times have invited others to join me on a hike or an outing in nature, when what I really needed was the quite and peacefulness of my own presence and a deep connection with earth.
When we start to show up for ourselves, we show up better for all of those around us. As a mom, I see this quite frequently. I’ll call it the martyr mom complex. The one in which the mother is so in need of a break that they can’t show up for their kids in the best way because they are ignoring their own needs. Not to mention, the message this sends our kids. I am very guilty of this one. What I’ve realize is when I take that time for me and do what I need to do to fill me up, I show up as a much better person for my kids, and send a clear message that I am important and worthy of being taken care of myself. I think the preflight message about this makes things very easy to understand. We are always reminded to put on our own oxygen mask on first before helping someone else. Literally, if you can’t breathe and pass out, how will you help others? A bit extreme, but you get the point.
This also spills over into all of our other relationships romantic or otherwise. When we don’t do our own self love work, we can’t possibly show up for anyone else. We can only love those around us as much as we love ourselves. The biggest gift we can give ourselves and others is to connect with ourselves at the most authentic level and to remember how amazing we truly are. To fill ourselves up so much with our own love for self that we glow and radiate that out into the rest of the world. We share from an overflow of our own love in all of our relationships. When we do this, we never run out, as it is never ending.
Only you complete you, no one else can ever do it for you. The biggest gift you can give to your loved ones this Valentines day is to love yourself.
A few ideas for treating yourself amazing this month and every month!
-Buy yourself flowers
-Take a bath, light candles, and play soothing music
-Take you and your journal on a nature date. Find a quite space in a natural place that inspires you and either stream of consciousness journal, or write down your desires.
-Make a list of all of the things you love about yourself
-Practice gratitude every day
-Honor yourself by listening to your intuition
-Believe in your own self worth
-Take one moment every single day to find joy and bliss
Wishing you the most wonderful self love month. May the journey back to self be filled with unexpected insights and deep heart felt connection. Enjoy the process, and know that it is just that, a process.
Love and Blessings,